walking through the park i was able to recall a dream which at first seemed so real then i drifted into a place i had certainly been

as you can recount from my past actions “twas the night before christmas” has always been a high point in my collections of melancholy melodies but for some unknown reason this year my timing was over righted by my desire to find freedom in the fourth dimension, a goal i feel i am close to reaching and with a small amount of support and encouragement may be able to obtain my goals. now it has come to my attention through a vast series of local and regional resources that your aunt and my uncle, and by the way this is unknown to either party it is all verified in the last three nights if dream sequences that have been established through tireless research by you cousin gladis and my friend claus. the fact remains that if this can be unified we may be about to examine the long lost relation between the human race and the elements, an area of concern and bewilderment since the dawn of modern history. so if the spirits are so moved, that is according to your cousin and my friend we may be capable of identifying the cause and effect of alcohol and drugs as they exist today on the average individuals appetite for the advanced manor of thinking and manipulation in the journey towards freedom on the road towards a sexual revolution where body and minds can join in a wholly uniform sense of divine pleasure, a concept i might include was discussed several centuries ago by an albanian monk in hiding after it was discovered he had been sleeping around the temple and spreading good cheer and not so good bacteria, so much for the good old days. and so now to the final pitch and i do hope you will be able to swing and have and least a single, can you kindly contact your cousin and i will do the same with claus so we might get back on the trail of singing the happy songs of yesterday.

in a land of far of dreams lived a king and queen, that is queen in the contemporary setting or definition

when i first encountered or rather heard of the oh la la my mind wandered here and there in an attempt to understand as well as consider the implications surrounding a world whose definition i was yet unable to comprehend nor understand and so decided a class in the continuing education division of our local university was a wise idea and so made the decision, wrote a check and began the first class of a twelve week session in the unraveling of the modern vernacular. at first glance all that i assumed to know was tossed into the wind before the wind created a fire and the contents of my truly unusual vocabulary, wisdom obtained through years of visits to therapists, gymnasiums, geraniums, greeks and later day saints, seemed only at last to prove the best was still to come, although i found that lately coming was more or less gone and i could only hope for its return by continuing my regime of pills, elixirs and injections, injections of the giving rather than receiving motif. anyway as time and the class progressed a visitor was introduced to our fold who the teacher introduced as martin, the possessor of what she termed “the original oh la la” and what an oh la la he possessed. low and behold there she blows said our all but spell bound professor as she carefully unwrapped martin’s very special and indeed secret possession. the class sat spell bound unable to speak and nearly unable to breath for an amount of time too long to measure, but measuring did occur, measuring of martin’s oh la la and yes we can say no more about this little incident as my parents have been informed of our little class and in fact it did not take place at the local university but in my grandmother’s attic and the secret of the oh la la has truly been revealed and of course so have i and my practitioners and all of my visuals have been confiscated by my dad and so now i do believe he and my mom spend their late night hours, heads beneath the sheets learning about the secrets behind “martin’s oh la la”.

: i was facing an important dilemma the end of gas in my glass, would this represent joy or sorrow?

i have been finding ever more frequent the dilemma caused by the pervading entry into my thoughts of the people from the valley that have become ever so green with envy as we approach a new if not even better beginning on our search for the all but elusive answers to questions of significance in the realm of unproven denial. it would seem inevitable to most upon first glance, but i have been alerted by my friend and former classmate swami licorice that all we see, hear and read might in some cases represent the grander notion of self realization rather than what had prior to the swamis confessions been believed and understood in a totally different set of circumstances allowing of course for the twenty per cent variable clause that would have in the past represented a majorities comprehension of matters that would fall under this category. so we have a small group of foreign inventors to thank for this newly discovered information and perhaps with it in our possession our ability to advance our own kind may become more feasible and perhaps even less arduous, but all of this is merely a small section of my dream, a dream which i believe reoccurs each night as i sit in my room dreaming of new ways to reinvent the already invented miracles of our past to centuries, can you please lend a hand, my girl friend needs more wine and a larger vibrator, and of yes an large supply of appropriate batteries and a vacuvin please, and oh yes a large tub of petroleum jelly!

sitting on the cusp of that tranquil moment i was able to summon memories of past experiences and change their meaning for at least the next three days

having been trapped in the public bathroom here at kennedy airport for the past five days i am leaving with a new found sense of freedom but also a glow surrounds me as my soul and spirit seemed to undergo a feeling of deep and significant cleansing as the doors were finally opened and the hordes came rushing forth to reach out and get a feel for air untainted by the human aroma that oh so inhabits those all but forgotten habitats we have grown to stop loving as the twenty five cent pay toilet was replaced by the free handicapped live in bathroom with sink and toilet to match, an interior designers dream if one is fortunate enough to acquire the commissions which i am certain were given out rather judiciously when the airport was renamed and the toilets were relocated. i have been lucky in being able to save as well as retrieve all of the silver quarters that were in a large pile in my fathers dresser and now with the price of silver and my handicapped plates life is my oyster and you do not even enjoy the feeling of the slimy slide when that first little creature flows from shell, to mouth to belly, and then that ever popular three hour erection, a gift from the shell fish gods and one certainly all the little girls in fantasy land have come to love, enjoy and anticipate with never ending fury. i must say being out in the fresh air has been somewhat of a shock and as i begin to search the masses of my fellow bath mates i am learning that they too miss that certain unique fragrance only the airport toilets can provide. so here in lies the reason for my missal, would you find it appropriate to donate to our cause, the donation is tax deductible and the cause is unique, and by the way take this up with your wealthy relatives as well. thanking you in advance, i remain yours, sloppy joe

an alter girl and an alter boy were caught while engaging in altering each others gadgets and a priest replied alter with caution do not, however get caught!

i was sorry to learn of the dismissal of our sophomore american history teacher mister bergeron after he was reportedly caught after being set up i might include in this my little foray into the realm of complaining about how really simple and out of touch with our tenth year into the twenty first century, when recommending playing with one’s apple draws letters of complaint from concerned tenth grade parents i mean for christ sake how many of us thought mister bergeron was referring to genital manipulation rather than key board procedures i am not sure but in this class with the fellow classmates i am friendly, really they have been through the entire book of right and wrong and mostly came out of the reading room covered in smiles, whatever that little expression is supposed to represent i will have to faun ignorance mainly because that is how my mother raised us. anyway even if playing with one’s apple is a questionable expression let alone a questionable practice i find it somewhat uneven in the department of just cause as more and more photos of our leaders past and present are presented to the public at large and larger than life. well i for one with the encouragement of both my parents as well as both my older sisters am composing a letter to the principle along with a selection tasty photos of him and miss quate in less than an ideal agenda, that is an agenda not scheduled for the academic council but one i am certain would lift their spirits and more than like remove mister gorabe and miss quate. so if you would kindly read my letter, view the photos, no stains please, sign and pass it along, we do need mister bergeron’s encouragement to continue playing with our apples.

beset by miracle he began to sing songs from an unholy choir known only to the few who at once upon a time knew only rhymes

i have been sitting alone in my room for the past wek or maybe even longer digesting, contemplating the comments of your peers and the thoughts generated by the conference we both attended attempting to save as well as shed a bit more light on the case of humans above the earth as we travel forward and catch a glimpse at what the future does seem to have in store for the residence of the small villages now called the upper frontier. if you were to ask for the engagement of my opinion i would have to stand strongly in defense of the ultras in this matter as far as i can determine there is really no cause for alarm and those neutral son of a bitches should really pretend they were born without nuts and quietly disappear into the sunset before father time comes out of hiding and removes their nuts once and for all, which by the way will make a great case for your thesis if a subject is still for you in the search mode. i must say i am hard pressed to find a reason to switch at this point in time but if your argument is able, after a serious assault by the legal team hired by my brother can withstand their revelations i will more than gladlyjoin forces with you and move across to the other side, please keep in mind my ability to swim has been compromised ever since my surgery.

for a limited time receive a flashback card when you decide to travel forward that is provided there are no wet spots in your pants

i have been following the advice you laid out for me during our last session following the book of rules provided by hoyle and have come upon too many snags to even bother taking up the space or your time to mention. now i would like to repeat the the concerns i had expressed during our last engagement and make perfectly clear that you are certain the afore mentioned pages in the hoyle book of card rules are the proper devices to employ during and after the start and finish of my long but boring attempt to win the affections of my next door neighbors daughter. oh those pages are numbers three through eleven, they outline the approach one should take when defending the king’s bishop three when caught in the number five position. firstly, i should reveal a truth that during out last discussion i was reluctant to bring forth, mostly out of being embarrassed due to the nature of my age and the almost silly predicament i have come to find myself facing without anyone to turn too and so this is the reason my mother of all people suggested you, she does not want my father to get wind of my problem or the difficulties i am encountering in an attempt to get my logistics straightened out, if straightening out is the proper term in regard to my particular situation, please advice so as not to have me misunderstand the nature of this multiple occurrence and that is might engage the appropriate language when i discuss this fixation with the girl next door if i even should consider such a topic with the very object of my dilemma. please advice i remain yours with my apparatus in hand and my tongue in the other opening.

frankie and johnny were great believers in spanish fly, howard believes the spanish can fly. while all around us fly the armenians, life is certainly swell

in reading over my notes written just yesterday on your and my believes on the quantum mechanics of ultra sound theory i have come upon a number of disturbing facts which may cause a small or possibly larger stir if this report becomes part of the psychiatric practices rule of thumb. i was in doubt when first my colleague and batting partner, laura called my attention to the paragraph, that is the first of several paragraphs that she pointed out contain material which has the potential of instilling a somewhat hostile attitude in the minds of young women who seemed to be please when having relations with men of the opposite sex, if in fact such an accomplishment can be accomplished. but this small detail aside i would recommend a quick read through to to gain a refreshed understanding of the very nature of group healing as it relates to the relationship one another have to each other, themselves and parties of the same as well as the opposite gender when choosing one’s clothes for an adult sleep over during the warmer months of the year. please rest assured no one but you and i have any idea what any of this means and only laura can translate the text you and i encrypted.

the mysterious doctor foo addresses his peers on a subject to risky to put on paper but not to vain for doctor foo and his desires

i thought this might be an ideal time to discuss and reconsider the ideas that have been put into practice by our social and psychological service center at the memorial school in an attempt to regulate the thoughts and attitudes of our eighth graders prior to their passing onto high school and all of the various pressures and pitfalls we have come to know are associated with that change in climatic atmosphere. but somehow i have been led to believe the experiments you employed with some of the less physically mature members of the eighth class have in some regard, back fired. i am talking specifically about the incident last weekend at the green pond class trip where most of the boys and girls were invited for a days outing, with swimming, food and frolicking without the frolic ending in a report from the principle regarding the behavior of judy and ken or bob and joanne who we all have come to know and unfortunately for judy and joanne the youth onset activity more reserved for high school and beyond may return to haunt them sooner they they might imagine. but regardless of their dilemma the issue at hand is the practice once again that you personally initiated of those without body hair using actors glue and artificial hair under their arms and in the pubic areas to give the illusion or impression that their adolescent life had begun and that their childhood years were now history. well i must report sadly little lou your most enthusiastic participant had the worst possible experience at the picnic when brian sighted his underarm hair, which by the way little lou wore so proudly, and that very batch of attached hair had begun to detach as he entered the water and unfortunately for little lou he became the subject as well as the point of all the jokes for the balance of that outing. now my office has been inundated with concerned students who were there to witness poor little lou’s dilemma and wish to step out of your experiment. so please call my office as well as the principles monday so that we might discuss this issue and hopefully find and appropriate solution.

delinquency only leads too or proves that what matters most matters less in times of stress

The onslaught of snow which has inundated the northeast and I suppose gaging from what i have read as well as caught fleeting glances of on the radio, am led to believe that similar conditions exist in Chicago as well as other regions of this country. so as not to waste your time, which i understand is quite precious and has a monetary value i shall advance my fingers and get to the point or matter at hand. it would seem a natural act these conditions being seriously considered that our local children would enjoy all of the various activities associated with snow and the fun that might be had by all under the present conditions of our streets, valleys and streams. however, and i must stress the however, it has been brought to the attention of a number of local exceptionally concerned parents who have come across a major miss use of their skills in the molding of snowmen in and around our neighborhood. if what i have been told bears any resemblance of truth then and only then may this entire episode be laid to rest, but i for one do believe an overall investigation is the very first responsibility of our neighborhood association. apparently one of our kids made a replica of frosty the famous snowman from the fifties made famous by a well known singer, long ago laid to rest but for some unknown reason was reincarnated last week and when the famous hat was placed upon frosty’s head he came to life and has been running around the region attaching erect penis and balls to many of the local snowmen. this has caused an enormous amount of embarrassment with local religious groups and their leaders. billy, the boy who brought this tale to my ears claims it is a true story and i for one have no way to discredit his explanation and have yet to catch frosty in the act yet alone even see this mysterious, mythical creature. so what i would request from you and all of the members of your association, be on the look out for a snowman with a mission and a bag of masons tools. many thanks form your neighbors to the north!